Wednesday, July 8, 2015

The Arab Connection Story


                                  The Arab Connection Story
                                                                         1974
                                                   A true story that actually happened
                                            Written 6/6/ 2012 and Re-written 7/03/2016
                                                               Howard Yasgar


In 1974, my very best friend was a fellow named Miguel Marquez.
Miguel was a Cuban refugee who had lived on a small Island off the North coast of Cuba called Cayo Coco.
While he was growing up on that small island, Miguel’s only exposure to a big city was his monthly trip to Havana.
He made this monthly trip with his father in their family’s tiny twelve foot wooden sailboat which his dad also used for fishing.
Miguel told me that once a month when they were in Havana, his father would buy whatever supplies they needed and then, he and Miguel would stop off for a few drinks of rum, as well as doing a little social activity with the ladies, before they headed back home.
So up until 1974, that monthly trip to Havana was Miguel’s only exposure to a big city life.
On their farm on Cayo Coco they grew vegetables and raised a few pigs, they lived in a typical Cuban farm house with a thatched roof made of palm fronds.
Miguel was the oldest of five brothers and three sisters, and because Miguel had a good head for making money, he was the leader of the family business, which was cutting down trees and burning them to make cooking charcoal.
The charcoal they made was put in burlap bags and sold to a charcoal broker, who supplied them with the burlap bags and took their charcoal to the local market in Havana by boat.
It was in 1968, when one of Miguel’s brothers, Rudolpho, who was in Batista’s army, was machine gunned down by Fidel Castro’s men, and he was never able to walk again.
Then another one of his brothers was imprisoned for eight years for trying to escape Cuba by boat.
That was when Miguel started to realize he was living in a dangerous place and he had to escape.
So, using all his family’s savings of $8000.00, he paid a local fisherman to secretly smuggle him, his wife, his mother and father, and his step son out of Cuba.
One dark evening they were all secretly taken by boat to a small island with a lighthouse on it called Cayo Lobo, that’s where they were eventually rescued by the U.S. Coast Guard.
From Cayo Lobo the Coast Guard took the family to Key West, and eventually they all ended up in Miami as Cuban refugees. (See the Miguel Marquez Story)
Once they were in Miami, Miguel and his family slept on the floor of his uncle Totico’s apartment.
It just happened that Miguel”s uncle Totico was my good friend, and he brought Miguel over to see me.
Miguel’s uncle, Totico Esceverria and his family had once been wealthy landowners in Cuba.
Totico had escaped from Cuba when his family’s land was confiscated about a year before Miguel  had escaped.
Now that Totico was in Miami, he was starting his life all over again selling screened aluminum patios, and that’s how I had met him.
Totico suggested that because Miguel was a good mechanic, that I teach him the automotive electrical rebuilding business. He felt it would be good for Miguel to become a skilled automotive electrical rebuilder and start his new life in America.
At the time that I met Miguel, it was 1968, and Miguel spoke almost no English, and I spoke very little Spanish, but it quickly became apparent to me that Miguel was not your usual refugee.
He was a hard worker, and a quick learner and he was very curious about everything that I did. Miguel was not like anyone I had ever met before, he was the very first  highly intelligent Cuban hill billy that I ever met.
When I first met Miguel he was 39 years old, 10 years older than me. He was a ruggedly handsome guy, about six foot tall, with a Mediterranean complexion. He had a lanky build, and jet black hair. If it wasn’t for his darker complexion we could have been taken for brothers.
Once Miguel started working for me, I found that he certainly was a very rare in individual, he had lots of natural intelligence and he was also extremely self-confident, as well as quick witted, and he always seemed to have a lot of humorous one line jokes.
Miguel was like a Spanish standup comedian, he could make a joke about anything.
While I was teaching Miguel the rebuilding business, it became my opportunity to learn Spanish and Cuban culture from him.
So early on, I started doing my best to teach Miguel English, and in return he taught me what I thought at the time was good Spanish.
He told me all about his life in Cuba, as well as all about his family, so it wasn’t long before we became very close personal friends, and my wife and I were then invited to all Miguel’s family functions.
I think, Miguel’s family was very surprised to see that he had an American friend that was helping him to adjust to his new life in the United States.
Miguel himself told me that he was especially happy that we were friends.
He said, because having me with him, he was able to go into American  restaurants and stores, and places that he never would have ventured on his own.
As the years went by, Miguel and I began to converse with each other easily. Miguel spoke a lot of words in very poor English and I spoke a lot of words in very poor Spanish.
I’m sure, to anyone listening to us, our language was very unusual and I think that no one, either American or Spanish, could ever understand what the hell we were talking about.
But Miguel and I were able to understand each other perfectly, it was like we had our own language.
By 1974 Miguel and I had now become almost like brothers.
During the day, I employed him at my automotive parts rebuilding company, and on the weekends I also employed Miguel and his father in a small metals refining business that I had started.
It was in the summer of 1974, when my wife said she was planning on taking a summer camp vacation with my son and daughter.
Knowing that, I thought it gave me the opportunity to make a long awaited business trip to Connecticut and New York.
It might also be an excellent opportunity to show Miguel New York City. I could also show him where I had once lived in Westville Connecticut.
When I mentioned the trip to Miguel, he became very excited, and said he definitely wanted to go with me, and he asked me how I was planning to get to New York.
I told him that we would fly to New York, then rent a car there, and then drive to Connecticut.
That’s when Miguel told me that he couldn’t fly. At the time there was a rash of plane hijackings going on, with many of the planes being diverted to Cuba. Miguel said that if we were ever hijacked to Cuba, Castro would put him in jail forever.
Miguel suggested , “What about the train, we can go to New York by train”. Well, as far as I was concerned, I had ridden on trains several times in the past and I wasn’t too excited about doing it again.
I thought trains were a very slow and an antiquated way of getting anywhere.
On the other hand, perhaps a slow trip to New York with Miguel, could be fun. I thought we could both sit in the train’s club car, have a few drinks and tell each other jokes.
I then purchased two round trip tickets on the Amtrak train going to New York City.
Late on a Saturday afternoon, we boarded the train in down town Miami and quickly found a couple of seats in a empty passenger car.
We put our two suitcases on the overhead racks above the windows, and then we tried to sit down and make ourselves comfortable.
Miguel fooled around with adjusting his seat for about half an hour, I could see he was having a good time, as this was his first experience with an adjustable chair.
As he fiddled with it, he was joking around and making wisecracks about everything, always keeping me laughing.
The train started moving, and we immediately felt that our car was air conditioned, and the cold air seemed to be blowing directly on us.
We then adjusted our seats to lean back and tried to take a nap as we really had nothing better to do.
I think we slept a couple of hours, and we both woke up at the same time sweating profusely. It appeared that the air conditioning in the car had stopped working, and it was now sweltering hot, so I suggested we go to the rear of the train and possibly find a bar and get a cold drink.
The train was rolling along as Miguel and I started walking through all the wobbling cars, looking for the observation car that had the liquor bar.
After going through five or six cars, we finally found it, so Miguel and I spent the next few hours drinking rum and cokes, and talking to some of the other passengers.
As we sat there, having our drinks, we couldn’t help but notice the constant bumping and screeching of brakes, as additional railroad cars were either being added on or taken off.
But after we had three or four drinks, none of those screeches or bumping noises didn’t bother us anymore, and we paid no attention to them.  
It must have been way after two in the morning when the observation car finally emptied out and the bar closed up, so Miguel and I decided to try and return to our seats where our luggage was.
I admit that we were a little drunk, and both of us were ready to hit the sack for the evening.
As we started walking back through all the jiggling cars, we didn’t recognize any of them. We finally realized that we must have passed the car with our luggage.
Being a little drunk, Miguel started joking and accusing the railroad of stealing our luggage.
I have to admit I was a little concerned as to where the hell my suitcase was, so I was more than happy when we saw a conductor.
He said they had added a few cars since we left Miami and our seats and suitcases were still a few cars ahead of us.
We eventually found our seats and it appeared that our air conditioning was working again so we tried to get a little sleep. but after about twenty minutes laying there, Miguel said he was freezing, it appeared our train car was getting colder, and it soon became like a refrigerator and we both had goosebumps.
I got up and found some old Miami Herald newspapers that someone had left on a seat, and we each took some pages out and covered ourselves, just like the bums do on a cold evening, and it worked pretty good.
However, after about fifteen minutes, we both again woke up as the air conditioning had shut off, and it now had become sweltering hot again.
I think by then, we were too worn out to consider moving to another car, so we stayed there talking until morning, with the cars temperature alternating between freezing cold and sweating hot.
Once we were in New York City, I rented a car and we drove the seventy miles to my former home town of Westville in Connecticut.
After sightseeing, by late in the afternoon, we headed back 70 miles to New York City.
Before we hit the New York border, I stopped to talk to several marinas that were located on the Connecticut River, as it was one of the reasons I had come to New York and Connecticut in the first place, as I wanted to get into the Marine parts business and I wanted the opinion from the marinas in Connecticut.
In New York City, we stayed in a hotel on 10th Avenue, and I took Miguel on a walking tour to see the sights.
That walk in New York became the experience of a lifetime for Miguel.
When we finally we stopped for a drink on 42 street, Miguel was amazed at all the strange, weird people he saw there. I enjoyed watching him as he kept shaking his head, Miguel said he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
After a few drinks, and as we were returning to our hotel, I saw a cop running across the street with his gun in his hand, then, we heard several gunshots, so I pushed Miguel into a storefront, just in case a bullet came our way.
Miguel wanted to know who was setting off the fire crackers. I told him he was in New York City and it wasn’t fireworks he was hearing, the cop who was probably shooting at someone.
The next morning we woke up to the news that the railroad was on strike, and we now had no way of returning home to Miami.
I asked the desk clerk at the hotel what everyone was doing to get home.
He said, hurry up and go to the Greyhound bus station and get some bus tickets to Miami, so we did.
The line for bus tickets was already very long, and we stood there and waited, and as we waited, we were watching the news, and this became one of the few times I ever had a disagreement with Miguel.
The television news station had just mentioned that someone who had just died of cancer. Miguel looked at me and he said “No one in Cuba ever died of cancer”. I didn’t quite know what to say to him, as I didn’t know if he was serious or not.
I waited a minute and I asked him how the people in Cuba died. Miguel was silent for a moment and he said, mostly they die from eating bad pork or bad cheese.
I was dumbfounded, so I asked Miguel if he ever heard of anybody doing an autopsy in Cuba to determine how someone really had died, that’s when I could see Miguel was getting real mad at me, so I dropped the subject.
We finally boarded the bus that evening, and luckily found two comfortable seats next to each other. Neither of us knew what to expect, and the trip turned out to be really interesting.
The bus seemed to stop at every little hick town along the highway, letting people off and picking up some new passengers.
As people left, new ones got on and the seating arrangements changed, so we were having fun just watching all the different kinds of people.
Some that were getting on had suitcases and clothes that looked like they came from someone’s trash pile.
Every several hours, the bus made regular rest stops, letting all the passengers off to use bathrooms and get something to eat. The only problem was, that when you got back on the bus, sometimes someone else might be in your seat, this happened to us a couple of times.
Once while we were in Georgia, I saw Miguel sitting a few rows in front of me. I was near the rear of the bus on the left side, and Miguel was sitting on a right hand isle seat. Miguel was sitting with his body completely turned towards the center isle of the bus, it was the most uncomfortable sitting position I had ever seen.
Sitting next to Miguel, was a young thin black girl about sixteen or seventeen years old.
Eventually the bus stopped at some obscure bus stop along the side of the highway and the girl got off. That’s when Miguel came back and sat next to me. He pinched his nose with his fingers and said the young girl had such bad B.O. that he thought it was going to kill him.
As we entered the state of Florida, Miguel and I were sitting together near the front of the bus, right behind the driver.
I noticed there were two young dark complexioned guys sitting behind us.
I had first noticed them when we boarded in New York City, and I had guessed they might be from some foreign country.
So now, as we sat there, Miguel and I tried to listen to their conversation when they talked together, we couldn’t recognize one word of whatever language they were speaking.
After about an hour of listening to them, my curiosity got the best of me and I looked over the back of the seat and I asked the two guys where they were from. “We are from Lebanon,” they replied in perfect English.
I told Miguel that they were from Lebanon, and then, I told them Miguel was from Cuba, and I was from Miami. That started us all on a very long conversation.
The fellows said that they were both nineteen years old, and they came to the United States to learn to become helicopter pilots.
They both spoke fluent English, French and Arabic.
They said their families had heard that there was a shortage of helicopter pilots on the oil fields of Saudi Arabia, and they heard that the Saudi’s were paying big money for helicopter pilots.
I was surprised at how perfect their English was, they spoke without even a trace of a foreign accent.
They said that they both came from middle class families in Lebanon and their families had scrimped and scraped every penny they could to send them to a flight school that was located in the Miami area.
They told us that their families had saved every penny they earned and bought U.S. currency on the streets, all of the U.S, currency was tied into bundles of small bills and then they had been carefully stacked into their suitcases.
Then they told me that their flight from Beirut, changed planes in Paris France, and while they were at the Paris airport they met two innocent looking pretty girls.
When they woke up in the morning, their suitcases were empty and the girls were gone. The only money they had left was in a small carry on bag with about 30 bundles of U.S. one dollar bills.
Both guys said that they were afraid to call their parents to tell them what had happened.
As we listened to their story, they asked if we knew of any flight schools in Miami where they could talk to someone that could help them.
I told them that I knew of several flight schools located in the Miami area but they would have to contact the schools directly themselves for more information.
I said, once we arrived in Miami, I would be happy to make a list of the flight schools, but it was now Saturday and they would have to wait until Monday morning to call the schools.
Both of the fellows seemed very appreciative of my assistance in helping them, but
Miguel quietly told me, that he thought the two guys were a couple of idiots.
Once we arrived in Miami, I invited them to come with us to pick up my car parked at the train station.
Then I said we could stop by my house and I would look in the yellow pages and get them some phone numbers of flight schools, they both agreed.
I dropped Miguel off at his house and then drove to my home with the two Arabs.
At my house, I wrote down the phone numbers and addresses of the flight schools and gave it to them.
My family was still away for another four days so I asked the guys if they were hungry, and they said yes, they hadn’t eaten in two days, so I cooked up some hot dogs.
I knew they had only a little money left, so I suggested that perhaps they stay with me overnight and in the morning, I would drive them to the closest flight school on my way to work, they thought that was a good idea.
In the morning, I saw them looking inside their small carry bag they still had several bundles of well used American one dollar bills.
I looked inside their bag myself and I saw that they couldn’t have had more than a few hundred dollars left.
I made them breakfast and I gave each of them each a twenty dollar bill, the two guys were overwhelmed and said that they didn’t know how to thank me.
I told them that no thanks were necessary, as I was happy to help them.
As we were getting ready to leave my house, they sat on the sofa in my living room and said they had something to give me. They handed me a Lebanese business card with several names and phone numbers written on the back of it.
They said that I should call the first telephone number on the card, it was in Beirut Lebanon, and they said, I should mention their names. They said that the fellow who was on the card could supply me with all the counterfeit U.S. Fifty dollar bills that I wanted for $20.00 ea.
I didn’t quite know what to say. So I said, thank you but I had no need of any counterfeit currency.
They both looked at each other and said “If that was the case, I should call the second telephone number on the back of the card and that fellow was a contact to get all the cocaine I wanted and he would ship it to the U.S.A.”
I said that the cocaine business was also not for me. I told them, that people in Miami were caught every day smuggling cocaine into the United States.
“Not these people, they said”, so I asked them, what do they do that’s so different?
One of the Arabs said, “In Lebanon they washed clothing and blankets in water containing dissolved cocaine. And they added something that changed the smell. Once in America they wash the clothing again and recover the drugs.”
I didn’t want to listen to any more of the conversation or hear about the third telephone number, so I took the card and motioned for them to get their bags into my car, and I drove them to a flight school located near my office.
I can only assume that by today they are either pilot’s in Saudi Arabia, or in prison in the U.S.A.  I gave their card to a family friend who was a detective in Miami.
He wasn’t exactly excited to receive my information.
   
                                

The Abe Greenstein and the Dildo Story


                                    The Abe Greenstein and the Dildo Story
                                                           1985
                               Written 2012 and Re-written 11/2016 unedited
                                                      A true story                           
                                                   Howard Yasgar

       
                          
     This true story actually happened in 1971, and to this day I don’t know if the situation that transpired should be considered funny or not.
     I know that at the time that it happened, I felt pretty bad about all of it and I certainly wished that  it had never happened.
     Over the years, I have scratched my head many times, wondering if I could, or should have done anything differently.
     In 1971, our automotive parts company, located in Miami and was called “API”, or
 Automotive Parts Industries.
     In 1971, Miami was the hub for export to all of the South  American countries, as well as Central America and the Caribbean.
     Although we had originally started out as a local automotive electrical parts wholesaler, because of our location in Miami, we had the foreign parts buyers coming in to see us almost daily.
     We had customers coming in to us from just about every country in the Americas.
     All the parts buyers that were coming to Miami were all entrepreneurs, they not only bought our electrical automotive parts, but they would buy pretty much anything that we had in stock if the price was right.
     They would buy anything that they could sell back in their country.
     It soon became obvious that anything we had, if priced cheap enough would sell, so by 1975 we had started producing a catalog. The catalog was under our new company name.  “Rebuilders Supply Company of Miami”.
     The first catalog started out with only about six pages that I typed out at my desk with my IBM Selectric II typewriter. The catalog  had all my hand drawn pictures.
     Eventually after a few years the catalog grew to be eighty seven pages, and we were sending copies to automotive electrical rebuilders everywhere.
     For me, making the catalog was a lot of fun, every month I started to look for all kinds of new automotive surplus items to put in it.
     I looked for just about anything automotive that I could buy cheap and put into the catalog at a low price.
     The more crazy items I put in the catalog, the more the importers came to Miami to see us.
    It was absolutely amazing, some mornings I would come to work and there would be several importers from South America waiting for us to open our doors,
     They all had their attaché cases filled with lots of U.S. currency.
    Some days there were so many foreign customers waiting to buy our surplus items, that it presented us with another problem, we were running  out of inventory.
     So, it became obvious that we needed more cheap automotive parts for the importers to buy.
      For us to fill this need, we started doing business with several automotive surplus dealers located in Detroit and Chicago.
     We had found that those two cities seemed to be the hub of where we could find quantities of new but cheap parts.
     Surplus dealers were people that knew how to buy excess merchandise at lower than rock bottom prices.
     They bought parts that were the left over’s, or they were excess parts from a manufacturer.
     Sometimes they bought scrap material from junk yards that were still useable but had been thrown away for one reason or another.
     Sometimes they were able to buy discontinued items, or even buy parts from companies that were going bankrupt.
     Their sources of supply were varied, and their business depended on their enginuity.
     As we got to know several of them, we found that most of these surplus dealers, while specializing in automotive parts, they were liable to buy anything, as long as it was cheap.
     We found Surplus Dealers that bought all kinds of things, from tools, to motorbikes and even pin ball machines.
     Soon we also started buying all this kind of stuff from them, and we sent it all to our warehouse in Miami.
     My partner and I would travel to Chicago and Detroit every few weeks on buying
trips, we never knew what we would find as we walked through the different surplus parts dealers warehouses.
   After a while, we ended up zeroing in on a few good surplus dealers that got in the types of merchandise that we could buy at the right price.
     In Detroit, we started doing business Barney Kaplan of “Barney Kaplan Surplus” or
Otherwise known as  B.K.S. 
   Some days, Barney of B.K.S. would call us in Miami and tell us about a deal that was to be available in Detroit or Chicago, and we would send him the money in advance.
     We would trust Barney to buy on our behalf.     
     In Chicago we started doing business with two surplus dealers, both were located on Canal Street.
    One of them was a company called Fleet Supply, a business owned by Bob Keen and his partner George Lustig. Bobby and George specialized in heavy duty parts for trucks.
     But they bought so much surplus we would have to visit them on every trip to Chicago.
   Located right down the Street from Fleet Supply, was another surplus company “Automotive Surplus”, and it was owned by a fellow named Abe Greenstein.
    When we met Abe, we found him to be a very friendly fellow, he was a short guy about 5 foot 4 inches tall, with a long nose and he wore a toupee.
     Then to make matters even worse, Abe wore stilted shoes and loud plaid pants.
     We found that Abe had what was called a “Napoleonic Complex”.
   If you ever went out for supper with Abe, he would always complain to the waiter about everything.
     He would order a drink called a “Rob Roy”, but he always sent it back  because it was too hot or too cold.
     Abe would always order a butterflied steak, which he also always sent back to the kitchen for one reason or another.
     It was very obvious to everyone that because of Abe’s size and appearance, and the fact that he had too much money, Abe had developed that complex, and he fine tuned it.
     It  was always embarrassing to be with him in a restaurant.
     Abe Greenstein specialized in several things. He bought lots of rejected parts from auto parts manufacturers, and he specialized in was what was called “Dealer Buy Back items”.
     This is how that business worked.
     Back in the 1970’s there were quite a few major brand automotive parts companies and they were all vying for the same automotive parts dealer customers.
     Once they had a customer, they wanted him to sell only their brand of products, so to accomplish this the salesman was authorized to remove all the competitions parts and replace them with their own brand of parts.
     Then the salesman had to dump the parts they removed from the dealers shelves, and Abe was there ready to buy everything they dumped.
     Abe bought the parts by the pound for little or nothing.
     So when we first met Abe, he had lots of pallet boxes filled with all sorts of things like radiator hoses, and fan belts, and there were pallet boxes with thousands of mixed up automotive parts.
     We were elated, this was all stuff our export customers wanted.
     We paid Abe fifty cents apiece for all the radiator hoses and fan belts. Shipped them to Miami and sold tem for $1.00 ea.
     Needless to say, we did a lot of business with Abe Greenstein. We were selling this stuff as fast as Abe could ship it to us.
    One day in early 1980, Abe told me that he had developed a partnership with a fellow in the Philippines.
    He said he did it because his partner could sell Abe’s stuff  in the Philippines and pay for it in cash, eliminating U.S. income tax.
    So now every few months Abe would fly to the Philippines, he explained it all to me in great detail.
     Abe said that in the Philippines he found plenty of girlfriends there that liked him.
     I knew that Abe had no real social life in Chicago, as he wasn’t what you would call a ladies man, he was short and balding and he looked and dressed strange.
     Also because Abe was a real complainer, whenever a women went out with him, they would never go out with him a second time.
     So, now I thought it was a good that Abe had something nice to do.
     One day I suggested to Abe that when he went to Manilla he should make arrangements to fly down to Miami first and stay with me for a few days. Since we were
now such good friends. I think that at the time we were probably one of Abe’s best customers.
     Sure enough, on his next few trips to Manilla, Abe came to Miami and stayed at my house, we were the best of friends.
     Abe confided in me that it wasn’t all business he was doing in the Philippines. He said that in the Manilla all the women treated him nice and  he had a lot of girlfriends there.
      He said, the women in Manilla didn’t make fun of him like the women in Chicago, Abe was now  a  changed man.
      One day when I went to Abe’s office in Chicago, there was a young Asian girl sitting at the front desk.
     Abe said he wanted me to meet his new secretary named Myrna.
     Myrna who was  from the Philippines, looked to be about 20 years old.
     Myrna spoke very a little English, so I watched her, as she sat at the desk, as she piled up all the junk mail.
     Abe explained that Myrna was the daughter of his partner in Manilla and was now going to be his new secretary in Chicago.
     When we left Abe’s office we were laughing, Myrna hardly spoke English, how could she be a secretary.
     But we said between ourselves, apparently English wasn’t important to Abe if  Myrna liked him.
     It wasn’t long before we received a card in the mail announcing that there was soon
going to be a stag party for Abe and it also was an invitation to the pending wedding of Abe Greenstein and his pretty Philippine fiancé Myrna.
     Every day, as I spoke to people that knew Abe, we discussed what we could do to organize his stag party.
     The timing for the stag party was  bad for us and neither my partner nor I knew if we could attend, but either way, we knew we needed to get Abe something humorous for his stag party.
     We pondered the question of what kind of gift to get Abe.
     Abe was already a multi millionaire and had pretty much everything, so we couldn’t come up with any good ideas.
     Then one afternoon, my partner and I were in South Miami for a meeting with our attorney.
     As we left the attorneys office, we stopped in a strip mall to get a sandwich, and as we left the sandwich shop, there was a novelty store next door, so we both went in to see what they had.
     We were astounded, they had all kinds of stuff, and in the back of the store they had a display of all kinds of sexual aids.
     As we looked, we both thought that most of the stuff was pretty funny, especially the big dildo’s that were made out of multi colored silicone rubber.
     Some of them were over a foot long and over three inches thick.
     Both my partner and I had the same idea at the same time, we should  get one of these outrageous dildo’s for Abe’s stag party.
     It would be more humorous than anything else we could think of.
     The store also sold boxes of hard on pills, so we bought a box of them also.
     The next day we sent the stuff by U.P.S. to Abe’s attention, with a note that it was for display at his stag party, and we were sorry we couldn’t attend.
     Well, two days later my phone rang, and it was Abe.
     He said, “That was an awful thing you did”.
     I had no idea of what Abe was talking about, so I said, what are you talking about Abe?
     He said, “You know what I am talking about”. But I was dumbfounded, I had no idea of what he was talking about.
     Abe’s voice became very serious, so again I asked him what he was talking about.
     Abe said, “It was that awful thing you sent me”.
     It was then I realized he was referring to the silicone rubber dildo.
     At this point, I thought for sure that Abe was just joking around with me.
     But he was very serious, and he said, “You both were just lucky that my Myrna didn’t see it”.
     Well, at least now, I knew what Abe was talking about, but I couldn’t believe that he would call me to complain about it, I was a close friend.
     I admit the entire conversation took me by surprise, and now I was sure Abe was joking. I said, Abe, we got the dildo as a joke for your stag party, if you don’t like it, just throw it in the waste basket.
     I waited for an answer but then there was only silence.
     I couldn’t believe anyone would make such a big fuss out of something that was done as a joke, and in good humor, after all we were good friends with Abe, and we were also good customers, doing over a million dollars a year  in business with him.
     Again Abe spoke with a really serious voice, he said, I can’t believe you would do a thing like this to me.
     But now I was getting a bit miffed myself, I wondered how Abe could keep up the tirade over something so trivial.
     I again suggested to Abe that he just throw the dildo in the trash, really, I didn’t know what else to say, and I apologized profusely to him.
     Then again Abe said, “You are just lucky my Myrna didn’t see it.” By now I was starting to get irritated listening to him, so I said, Abe, why the hell are you so worried about Myrna seeing it. Where she comes from, in the Philippines little boys don’t even wear any pants.
     Do you think Myrna never saw a penis before in her life, I said, get over it.
     Abe hung up the phone, and he never spoke to us again, and we also never bought another thing from him also.
    


The Brisbane Drug Story

                                                      The Brisbane Drug Story
                                                                     1986
                                            Written 1/2011, Re-written 06/26/2016
                                         It really happened, and we could be in jail
                                                             Howard Yasgar
In 1986, our Company, was doing business with several parts manufacturers in Taiwan.
Because the companies in Taiwan were all so bad, every year, I would have to go to there to straighten out the problems.
So in 1986, we decided that we could spend a week in Taiwan taking care of business and then take another week and travel to some other nearby countries as a vacation.
We had good friends in Brisbane Australia, Neil and Ros Metcalf of “Truck Electrics Company”.
Once Neil and Ros knew that Katherine and I were traveling that year to Taiwan they started pressing us to come and visit them in Brisbane.
Neil said, he would love to show us their company, and then take us into the Australian outback.
That’s when my wife Katherine started working on a travel plan.
We would fly to LA from Miami, and then on to Taiwan, We would stay in Taiwan for four days, giving me time to argue with our suppliers. Then we would fly on Qantas Airlines, to Bangkok Thailand.
We could spend two days in Bangkok which would give us enough time to get a feeling for the country and do a little sightseeing.
From Bangkok Thailand we would then fly to Sidney Australia where we would spend a couple of days, giving us a chance to see the  Opera House.
Then from Sidney, it was on to Brisbane Australia, to see Neil and Ros.
Once we were in Brisbane, Neil had said they wanted to take us to the Australian outback, for a couple of days, then we would fly back to Miami.  
Once I knew exactly what we were doing, I called our mutual friend Barney Kaplan in Detroit.
Barney and his wife Sara Lee were also good friends of Neil and Ros, and they had recently visited them in Australia.
When Barney’s wife Sara Lee heard we were going to Australia she said that she had a small gift for Ros, and would we take it along on our trip.
She said, the gift was sort of a thank you  for how nice Neil and Ros treated them when they were in Australia.
I said yes, and Sara Lee sent me a small package by UPS.
When the package arrived I saw that it was about eight inches long, four or five inches wide, and a half inch thick, it was soft to the touch like a blouse or a scarf would be.    
In Miami we studied our available luggage and I opted to use a large Samsonite suitcase and a leather folding garment bag with zippered pockets.
We were preparing to leave on December 12, to arrive in Taiwan on Dec 14, so Katherine booked rooms at the Sheraton Lai-Lai, as we had stayed there on past trips.
My business in Taipei went well, and when we were done we went to the Airport, checked in our luggage and flew to Bangkok Thailand.
We stayed at the Hotel Regent in Bangkok, and I bought several cartons of Thai cigarettes. They cost almost nothing in Bangkok and I wanted to bring them back to Miami to give away as gifts.
When we packed our luggage, to fly to Sidney Australia, I filled up the zippered pockets in my leather fold up garment bag with all the packages of Thai cigarettes that I had purchased.
When we arrived in Sidney, the fold up garment bag with the cigarettes, failed to appear with our other luggage, so we hung around the luggage carousel  for a while, hoping it would show up.
Finally the Qantas representative told us not to worry, he said, “the bag would be found and delivered to our hotel in Sidney.”
He was spot on, the next afternoon the bag was delivered to our hotel in Sidney just as he said it would.
I took the bag up to our room and did a quick inspection to see if the cigarettes were still there, and they were, and everything looked OK.
After spending a couple of days in Sidney, and touring the Sidney Opera House, it was time to catch our flight to Brisbane to see Neal and Ros Metcalf.
We arrived at the Brisbane Airport, and again, like in Sidney, the soft leather fold up bag with the Thai cigarettes, failed to arrive with our other luggage.
Katherine and I waited at the luggage carousel until everyone had left the area, we thought that it certainly was strange to have the same luggage missing twice.
Finally we carried our suitcases to the Customs inspection station, and told the inspector that we were missing a bag.
Yes, “I know he said, they are bringing it out now.”
At that very moment I saw another Officer carrying my bag from behind the luggage carousel. He had a Beagle dog walking with him, and the dog was sniffing the bag.
“Our drug dog sniffed out your bag the Customs inspector said, what do you have in it”?
Just clothes and some cigarettes from Thailand, I said.
I told him that it was strange that this same bag was missing from our flight from Thailand to Sidney also.
He looked at me suspiciously, and he started to unfold and open up the bag.
The first thing he found was the small soft package given to me by Sara lee Kaplan as a gift for Ros Metcalf.
“What is this package,” the Inspector asked?
“It's a gift for our friend’s wife who lives here in Brisbane. It was given to us by friends in Detroit.”
“What’s in the package,” he asked? “I don't know it’s a gift,” I said.
“You mean to tell me you travel halfway around the world carrying a package you don't know what’s in it.”
By this time I was getting more than a little irritated, and I said, “I bet it's a blouse, you can feel it with your hands, You, don't have to open a package like that, when it's so obvious.”
As we spoke the other Customs Inspector came out of his office shaking a vial with a clear liquid in it.
What is that, I asked?
The Officer was now unzipping the pockets that had the packages of Thai cigarettes. In the bottom of the pocket was some white powder.
I was more than a little concerned as I didn't remember ever putting any talcum powder or anything white in the zippered pockets.
The Officer said, “If this liquid turns red, you have a real problem, as he put some of the white powder in the test tube and he shook it up.”
After a few seconds the color turned bright purple.
I have to admit that at first, it looked red to me, and I became nervous.
“Pack up your stuff, you are free to go,” the Inspector said.
“Do you think someone removed the bag in Thailand, and put some drugs in it, and then removed the bag in Sidney?” I asked the Officer.
He didn't answer me.
We were very happy to leave the airport, and not be going to jail.
Neil and Ros were waiting for us in the airport parking lot.
“What took you so long they asked”.
Boy did we have a story to tell them.