The Richard’s Dad and the Cigar story
A true story as related by my friend Richard
Witten 12/3/2013 and rewritten 2016 unedited
This true short and humorous story was related to me during the 1960’s by one of my good friends named Richard.
The story is about Richard and his dad and I felt it was worth writing down for posterity.
When my friend Richard was a teenager he worked part time in his father’s paint manufacturing facility in New York City. Because they lived in the suburbs, his dad would drive them to work and home every day in their big four door Cadillac.
In the beginning, whenever Richard rode to work with his father, he sat next to his dad in the passenger side seat.
Now, Richard’s dad smoked a big cigar, but most of the time he just chewed on it and occasionally he would press a button and when the driver’s side window would go down. His father would turn left and spit a big black wad of tobacco juice out onto the highway.
Every evening as they drove home from work, Richard’s father would be thinking about the paint manufacturing business and not paying much attention to his driving ability, consequently other drivers would constantly honk their horn, some would drive up next to them with the drivers all screaming obscenities to his father. Lots of people just pulled abreast of them and just threw him a bird.
Richard’s father was oblivious to it all, as he drove along chewing on his cigar.
Richard was so embarrassed that he started riding in the back seat, he sat on the right side, where he could slouch down and no one would recognize him.
As the paint manufacturing business grew, relatives started telling his father that his Cadillac was an outdated car, and people of means now drove Lincolns. They told him to get with the times and trade in the Cadillac for a Lincoln.
Eventually Richard’s father traded in his Cadillac for a Lincoln.
That evening, as they drove home in the new Lincoln, Richard’s dad was chewing on his cigar as usual. And Richard was in the right rear seat of the new Lincoln slouched down.
When Richard’s dad was ready to spit out his tobacco juice, he went to press the button for his driver’s side window to go down.
Because the window control buttons were in a different place on the new Lincoln, his dad pressed the wrong button and the right rear window next to Richard went down and his father turned to his left and spit out his big wad of tobacco juice.