Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The Obvious Man of Culture story

                                                  The Obvious Man of Culture story
                                                                          1982
                                       A true story about how I met my wife Katherine
                                                 Written 2/2010 rewritten 5/24/2016
                                                                 Howard Yasgar
   
                                    
      I had been a bachelor for several years, and I was living in an apartment complex in Miami, called Tahoe springs.  To take up some of my time I went to the Miami Humane Society with my daughter. They had a cute little hairy black female puppy that they said was a Schnoodle, a combination of a poodle and a schnauzer. They said the puppy was about 8 months old and had been abandoned, and they had already named the dog Sammy.
     I had heard that when picking out a puppy, you should gently pinch it, so it would yelp and run away, then after a few seconds if the puppy returned to you, it meant that it was a forgiving dog and would be a good pet. I don’t know who said that, but Sammy yelped and ran under a chair and stayed there.
     Well I picked Sammy anyway, her big eyes sparkled and her tongue hung out. I paid the Humane Society to spay her and give her all the shots. A couple of days later I picked up my new buddy Sammy.
     I decided that as I had plenty of free time I would train Sammy, and teach her silent hand commands.
     Every evening I would work with Sammy, and after several weeks she understood quite a few commands. It got to the point that she would walk and follow beside me without a leash. Then one evening we were taking a walk and Sammy just ran off. I called for her until late in the evening but to no avail. I finally returned to my apartment, sadly resigned to the fact that Sammy was gone.
      In the morning I had breakfast, and as I was ready to leave for work, I opened the apartment door and there was Sammy huffing away with her tongue hanging out. She never did that again, and never needed a leash when we went for walks.
      One evening there was an advertisement on TV for a new wine called Coconetta. I was not a big wine drinker but I Liked coconuts, so I went and bought a bottle. I already knew it was just a junk novelty wine and would probably disappear off the market soon.
      One summer day I was walking him around the Tahoe Springs apartment complex and I sat down by one of the swimming pools.  Two women that were sunning there called my cute little Sammy over to pet her. I waited a few minutes and I walked over to retrieve my puppy, and that’s when I first met Katherine and her mother JoAnn who were the two women at the pool.
      They commented on how nice and well trained Sammy was. I thanked them, but after that I was a little stumped for words. I had no idea of what to say to two pretty women, and the only thing I could think of was that I had just bought a bottle of a very cheap wine called Coconetta.  
      For some reason the Coconetta wine was all I could think to talk about, so I asked Katherine and her mom if they had ever tried it, and they both said “No”. That was my cue, I immediately volunteered to go up to my apartment and get the bottle of wine for them to try.
      I came back down to the pool with a tray, it had three wine glasses and the bottle of Coconetta. Katherine immediately observed that the Coconetta was a white wine, and the three wine glasses I brought were white wine glasses. So it was obvious to her that I was obviously a man of culture, a man who knew the difference between white wine and red wine glasses.
      What Katherine didn’t know was that I only had four glasses in my entire apartment, and one was a big beer mug that I knew was inappropriate for drinking wine, the rest of the story is history.

               

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